For Love of Small Things
One month of book selling, cold sweats, and (slightly) exceeded expectations...
Would you look at that…
Someone fudged around and opened a bookstore—a small bookstore in a wonderful location—in a singularly unique, culturally diverse community of highly literary and creative people.
I’ll keep this post relatively short because I’ve also fudged around and set every minute of my life on a clock that correlates time and money. I also just want to watch TV and be brainless and find again the small lusts that animate my deepest reasons for being (my creativity, the safe and thriving smallness of my child-soul).
My Love
Small enough to fit
and fall asleep
in the crook of my arm
I brought him home
sedated from the center
and held him close
as his warmth
on my stomach bloomed
a dark patch of piss
My sleepy bb,
craning to see me
over the furry dimple
of his tiny shoulders,
would flash the first
of many pleading
puppy-dog eyes
And now some years
have passed and here
we are on a nightwalk
and here we are occupied
by the passage of what
neither of us could fix
our lips to speak—
me beneath a lamppost
he beneath the tree
squatting impatiently
and I almost wish
I gave a shit
It’s been a while since I’ve felt able to write. And, after a necessary encounter with Tricia Hersey’s Rest is Resistance, I gave myself permission to turn off (and turn on) last Friday. At the end of a long day, I let the family d’Augie out for his evening relief and it dawned on me as he pushed out his tragic turd that not giving a shit (or selectively giving a shit) is a sort of superpower—especially when, after months of non-stop labor and planning, one is fear-conditioned into believing failure is a misstep away.
After two months of planning and one whole month of waking up in cold sweats (I kid you not), I realized a few things. It’s not lost on me that the support of our community has been both a metaphysical and financial blessing. We have readers (especially the foundlings) who make Taylor & Co. feel like a vital addition. Though we’re still in somewhat of a honeymoon period, I think our baseline numbers (when the honeymoon is over) will exceed my most conservative estimates of our daily revenue. That said, so too will our expenses exceed my most conservative estimates. Why? Because Taylor & Co., in essence, has been given permission to dream bigger. This month we’ve managed to secure accounts with some of our favorite publishers and distributors. We’ve also managed to establish an account with one of the only (legal) LEGO wholesalers in the country. Many things to be excited for. Many things also to remain terrified about—not least of which is the question of brand identity. Small business owners: what do you want your business to be? It’s not enough to want to succeed. What are the parameters of your success?
Never be ashamed to start small. Taylor & Co. Books will be small for the foreseeable future. And I think I’m not interested in Taylor & Co. being anything more than a small bookstore. Moreover I’d encourage small business owners to always think small—think of the words that matter most, think of those special encounters between you and your patrons, the intimate details that grant you, your space, your service the kind of quality that honors something more than the convenience (and consumer efficiency) of transaction in the last days of the Holy Roman Empire.
Pluto is moving into Aquarius. Whatever that means. Remember that life is too short to hop onto a hamster wheel with no plans of ever getting off. You have to enjoy the ride. Fall in love. Fuck up a burrito. Read one of the books you’re planning to sell (or definitely don’t). Go for a long walk to cancel your gym membership.
While you’re planning your business (or anything really), plan your rest as well. Plan your escape routes and escape hatches. Win, lose, or draw.
Y poco a poco…let it happen. Some days you go by VFR. Some days it’s cloudy af and all you got is a prayer an IFR. (look it up). But let it happen.
For Love of Small Things
This is so wonderful, Andrew! All good to you & the bookstore ❤️🥰
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